Want to speak to a sexologist? Here’s what you should know

This article is presented by l’Ordre professionnel
des sexologues du Québec

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You’re watching Sex Education with the fam, and Uncle Ben asks the sharp Jean Milburn the following question: What, exactly, does a sexologist do? Uncle Ben, we’ve got your answers. In Quebec, sexologists are mental health professionals who assess the sexual behaviour and development of their patients and make treatment plans to improve, maintain, or restore sexual health.

These sexual health experts offer their services in private practices, schools, community settings, health facilities, and other settings. The type of consultation may vary depending on the needs and context of the difficulties and may involve individual, couple, polycule , or group meetings.

When to consult a sexologist

When should you see a sexologist? We recommend considering it any time you’re dealing with love, sex, or relationship issues, such as:

• separation or bereavement
• pain during intercourse
• erectile, arousal, or orgasm issues concerns
• communication issues
• jealousy or infidelity
• a lack of confidence or self-esteem related to sex
• sexual performance anxiety
• issues related to fertility
• STBBIs and their impact on your sex life
• porn addiction
• masturbation difficulties
• difficulties related to a negative sexual experience or trauma

Buuuut, there’s no reason to wait until things go wrong before taking action. When it comes to our sex lives, as is the case with so many other concerns, taking preventative steps is often easier than finding a cure. A sexologist can also help explore questions about different aspects of your sexuality, such as:

• getting to know yourself as a sexual being
• different sexual practices and sexual boundaries
• sexual orientation or gender
• nonmonogamous relationships and open relationships
• fantasies or eroticism
• support for “singledom,” dating, and dating apps

No matter what aspect of your sex life or sexual health you want to work on, explore or analyze, somewhere, there’s a sexologist who can help. The main benefit of consulting a sexologist is that you can openly discuss your sexuality with a neutral party who understands what you’re feeling (hello, university training) and express yourself in a judgment-free environment.

Of course, it’s fun to chat about these things with your bestie over a glass of sugary rosé, but like a corked bottle, those conversations can sometimes leave a bad taste in our mouths.

How to choose your sexologist

Beginning the process of sexology requires you to open up, but it’s best if you do so at your own pace, which is why it’s important to choose your sexologist carefully to ensure you feel comfortable and confident. The choice can be based on various criteria.

The reason for consultation

Before considering your needs in terms of a professional, you first need to identify the reason for your consultation. For that, we’ve designed a sex check-up to help you identify your sexual health needs—how convenient for you!

The follow-up location

Some people prefer face-to-face meetings, while others favour video chats. The advantages of face-to-face sessions are that they force you to step outside your usual routine and away from prying ears (we see you, old lady next door holding your glass to the wall). Plus, they put you in direct contact with a sexologist,but with video chatting, you get to speak to a sexologist from anywhere in the world without having to commute, even if it’s just from the comfort of your living room couch. If you prefer in-person sessions, make sure to check that the sexologist’s office is accessible and adapted to your mobility needs (e.g., having an elevator if you can’t climb stairs).

Many sexologists also work in the community or the health and public services network and offer free or low-cost services.

The sexologist’s approach

Some sexologists advocate approaches or theoretical perspectives that fit our preferences well, and some don’t. A quick search for a sexologist often provides you with this necessary info—either in the bio on their website or their profile in the directy of the Ordre professionnel des sexologues du Québec (OPSQ) website. However, you can also reach out to them before booking your first appointment. Don’t be afraid to ask everything that’s on your mind. This is the ideal moment to channel your inner Nancy Drew.

Personal preferences

You may prefer a sexologist who is of a specific gender or age group, speaks the same language as you, or shares a similar background. Some people also have preferences based on expertise, experience, and skill set. Since the bond you share is essential for the work, it’s okay to consider your preferences. It’s also possible that you don’t have any. That’s okay, too.

Types of support

In sexology, there’s a big difference between a support meeting and psychotherapy. Knowing what you need isn’t always obvious, but a sexologist can guide you toward the best approach based on your needs.

• The support meeting aims to address the issues you’re presently experiencing and develop tools to address these. Follow-up care can take place in the short or long term.
• Psychotherapy, conducted by a sexologist-psychotherapist who holds a license issued by the Ordre des psychologues du Québec, explores the underlying causes of sexual or relational issues, which may be linked to patterns, psychological roadblocks, or trauma. This type of support aims for deeper, long-lasting change and takes place over a longer period.

Fees and insurance coverage

Consultations typically cost between $90 and $150 per session. If you have insurance, check what’s covered under your plan and notify your sexologist. If it costs too much, look into resources that offer sexologist services at a reduced cost or on a sliding scale.

To find the sexologist of your dreams, try using the OPSQ’s search tool. You can filter search results based on specific criteria such as your postal code, the type of therapy, and availability to find your ideal match.